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Have a $$$$$$$$ New Year

Have A Happy New Year......
But.....

Very Interesting Stuff

INTERESTING STUFF

In the 1400's a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have 'the rule of thumb'

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Many years ago in Scotland , a new game was invented. It was ruled 'Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden'...and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language.

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The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.

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Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the U.S . Treasury.

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Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.

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Coca-Cola was originally green.

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It is impossible to lick your elbow.

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The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work:
Alaska
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The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% (now get this...)

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The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%
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The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $ 16,400
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The average number of people airborne over the U.S. in any given hour:
61,000
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Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

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The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.

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The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.

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Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:

Spades - King David
Hearts - Charlemagne
Clubs -Alexander, the Great
Diamonds - Julius Caesar
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111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
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If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

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Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.

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Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?

A. Their birthplace
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Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat name requested?

A. Obsession
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Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter 'A'?

A. One thousand
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Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common?

A. All were invented by women.

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Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?

A. Honey
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Q. Which day are there more collect calls than any other day of the year?

A. Father's Day
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In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes.
When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase......... 'goodnight, sleep tight.'

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It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon.

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In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in old England , when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them 'Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down.'

It's where we get the phrase 'mind your P's and Q's'

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Many years ago in England , pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. 'Wet your whistle' is the phrase inspired by this practice.

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At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow!

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-

Don't delete this just because it looks weird. Believe it or not, you can read it.

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?

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YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 200 7 when...

1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't even have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.

10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )

12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.

14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list.
~~~~~~~~~~~AND FINALLY~~~~~~~~~~~~
NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself.

SLOW DANCE

This poem was written by a terminally ill young girl in a New York Hospital.

Slow Dance
This is a poem written by a teenager with cancer.
She wants to see how many people get her poem.
It is quite the poem.

This poem was written by a terminally ill young girl in a New York Hospital.
It! was sent by a medical doctor -

SLOW DANCE


Have you ever watched kids

On a merry-go-round?

Or listened to the rain

Slapping on the ground?

Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight?
Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?

You better slow down.

Don't dance so fast.

Time is short.

The music won't last.


Do you run through each day

On the fly?

When you ask How are you?

Do you hear the reply?

When the day is done !

Do you lie in your bed

With the next hundred chores

Running through your head?

You'd better slow down

Don't dance so fast.

Time is short.

The music won't last.


Ever told your child,

We'll do it tomorrow?

And in your haste,

Not see his sorrow?

Ever lost touch,

Let a good friendship die

Cause you never had time

To call and say,"Hi"

You'd better slow down.

Don't dance so fast.

Time is short.

The music won't last.

When you run so fast to get somewhere

You miss half the fun of getting there

When you worry and hurry through your day,

It is like an unopened gift....

Thrown away.

Life is not a race.

Do take it slower

Hear the music

Before the song is over.

--------------------




Dear All: !
This young girl has 6 months left to live, and as her dying wish, she wanted to send a letter telling everyone to live their life to the fullest, since she never will.
She'll never make it to prom, graduate from high school, or get married and have a family of her own.
By you sending this to as many people as possible, you can give her and her family a little hope, because with every name that this is sent to, The American Cancer Society will donate 3 cents per name to her treatment and recovery plan. One guy sent this to 500 people! So I know that we can at least send it to 5 or 6. It's not even your money, just your time!
PLEASE PASS ON AS A LAST REQUEST.
!

Dr. Dennis Shields, Professor
Department of Developmental and Molecular Biology
1300 Morris Park Avenue
Bronx, New York 10461

10461

Marrage ? Which way to go????????????????????

Before Marriage...

She: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
He: Do you want me to leave?
She: HELL NO! Don't even think about it.
He: Do you love me?
She: Of course! Over and over!
He: Have you ever cheated on me?
She: HELL NO! Why are you even asking?
He: Will you kiss me?
She: Every chance I get!
He: Will you cheat on me?
She: Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of person!
He: Can I trust you?
She: Yes.
He: Darling!

After marriage... simply read from bottom to top.

Italian Christmas at my Home........................

Christmas Eve at my parents

I thought it would be a nice idea to bring a date to my parents' house on Christmas Eve. I thought it would be interesting for a non-Italian girl to see how an Italian family spends the holidays.

I thought my mother and my date would hit it off like partridges and pear trees.....I was wrong! I had only known Karen for three weeks when I extended the invitation. 'I know these family things can be a little weird,' I told her, 'but my folks are great, and we always have a lot of fun on Christmas Eve.'

'Sounds fine to me,' Karen said.

I told my mother I'd be bringing Karen with me. 'She's a very nice girl and she's really looking forward to meeting all of you.'

'Sounds fine to me,' my mother said.

And that was that.

Two telephone calls. Two sounds-fine-to-me. What more could I want? I should point out, I suppose, that in Italian households, Christmas Eve is the social event of the season -- an Italian woman's reason for living. She cleans. She cooks. She bakes. She orchestrates every minute of the entire evening. Christmas Eve is what Italian women live for. I should also point out, I suppose, that when it comes to the kind of women that make Italian men go nuts, Karen is it. She doesn't clean. She doesn't cook. She doesn't bake. And she has the largest breasts I
have ever seen on a human being! I brought her anyway.

7 p.m. - We arrive.

Karen and I walk in and putter around for half an hour waiting for the other guests to show up.
During that half hour, my mother grills Karen like cheeseburger on the barbecue determines that Karen does not clean, cook, or bake.

My father is equally observant. He pulls me into the living room and notes, 'She has the largest breasts I have ever seen on a human being!'

7:30 p.m. - Others arrive.

Zio Giovanni walks in with my Zia Maria, assorted kids, assorted gifts. We sit around the dining room table for antipasto, a symmetrically composed platter of lettuce, roasted peppers, black olives, anchovies and cheese....no meat of course. When I offer to make Karen's plate she says, 'No Thank you.' She points to the anchovies with a look of disgust.... 'You don't like anchovies?' I ask. 'I don't like fish, Karen announces to one and all as 67 other varieties of seafood are baking, broiling and simmering in the next room.

My mother makes the sign of the cross.

Things are getting uncomfortable. Zia Maria asks Karen what her family eats on Christmas Eve.

Karen says, 'Knockwurst.'

My father, who is still staring in a daze, at Karen's chest, temporarily snaps out of it to murmur, 'Knockers?'

My mother kicks him so hard he gets a blood clot.

None of this is turning out the way I'd hoped.

8:00 p.m. - Second course.

The spaghetti and crab sauce is on the way to the table. Karen declines the crab sauce and says she'll make her own with butter and ketchup. My mother asks me to join her in the kitchen. I take my 'Merry Christmas' napkin from my lap, place it on the 'Merry Christmas' tablecloth and walk into the kitchen.

'I don't want to start any trouble,' my mother says calmly, clutching a bottle of ketchup in her hands. 'But if she pours this on my pasta, I'm going to throw acid in her face.'

'Come on,' I tell her. 'It's Christmas. Let her eat what she wants.'

My mother considers the situation, then nods.

As I turn to walk back into the dining room, she grabs my shoulder.

'Tell me the truth,' she says, 'are you serious with this tramp?'

'She's not a tramp,' I reply. 'And I've only known her for three weeks.'

'Well, it's your life,' she tells me, 'but if you marry her, she'll poison you.'

8:30 p.m. - More fish.

My stomach is knotted like one of those macramé plant hangers that are always three times larger than the plants they hold. All the women get up to clear away the spaghetti dishes, except for Karen, who, instead, lights a cigarette.

'Why don't you give them a little hand?' I politely suggest. Karen makes a face and walks into the kitchen carrying three forks.

'Dear, you don't have to do that,' my mother tells her, smiling painfully.

'Oh, okay,' Karen says, putting the forks on the sink. As she reenters the dining room, a wine glass flies over her head, and smashes against the wall. From the kitchen, my mother says, 'Whoops.'

More fish comes out. After some goading, Karen tries a piece of scungilli, which she describes as 'slimy, like worms.' My mother winces, bites her hand and pounds her chest like one of those old women you always see in the sixth row of a funeral home.

Zia Maria does the same. Karen, believing that this is something that all Italian women do on Christmas Eve, bites her hand and pounds her chest. My Zio Giovanni doesn't know what to make of it. My father's dentures fall out and chew a six-inch gash in the tablecloth.

10:00 pm. - Coffee, dessert.

Espresso all around . A little anisette. A curl of lemon peel. When Karen asks for milk, my mother finally slaps her in the face with a cannoli. I guess it had to happen sooner or later.
Karen, believing that this is something that all Italian women do on Christmas Eve, picks up a cannoli and slaps my mother with it.

'This is fun,' Karen says.

Time passes and believe it or not, everyone is laughing and smiling and filled with good cheer - even my mother, who grabs me by the shoulder, laughs and says, 'Get this bitch out of my house.'

Sounds fine to me.

THE END

---- If you aren't in stitches by now, you don't know Italians!!

To All of You

And A

Buy a Dog.......

If you want someone who will eat whatever

you put in front of him and never says its

not quite as good as his mother made it.

Then buy a dog.

If you want someone always willing to go out, at any hour, for as long and wherever you want .

Then buy a dog.

If you want someone who will never touch the remote, doesn't care about

football, and can sit next to you as you watch romantic movies

Then buy a dog.

If you want someone who is content to get up on your bed just to warm

your feet and whom you can push off if he snores ....

Then buy a dog.

If you want someone who never criticizes what you do,

doesn't care if you are pretty or ugly, fat or thin, young or old,

who acts as if every word you say is especially worthy of listening to

and loves you unconditionally, perpetually.

then buy a dog.

But, on the other hand,

if you want someone who will never come when you call,

ignores you totally when you come home,

leaves hair all over the place, walks all over you,

runs around all night, only comes home to eat and sleep,

and acts as if your entire existence is solely to ensure his happiness

Then buy a cat!

Now be honest, you thought I was going to say....

then marry a man.

For all my cat loving friends

---

Lotus Touts: A time to be nice...........

Lotus Touts:

There's some mighty fine advice in these words, even if you're not
superstitious. This Lotus Touts has been sent to you for good luck
from the Anthony Robbins organization. It has been sent around the
world ten times so far.

Do not keep this message.

The Lotus Touts must leave your hands in 6 MINUTES. Otherwise you will
get a very unpleasant surprise. This is true, even if you are not
superstitious, agnostic, or otherwise faith impaired.

ONE.
Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

TWO.
Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their
conversational skills will be as important as any other.

THREE.
Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.

FOUR.
When you say, 'I love you,' mean it.

FIVE.
When you say, 'I'm sorry,' look the person in the eye.

SIX.
Be engaged at least six months before you get married. < /B>

SEVEN.
Believe in love at first sight.

EIGHT.
Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dre ams
don't have much.

NINE.
Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the
only way to live life completely.

TEN..
In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling..

ELEVEN.
Don't judge people by their relatives .

TWELVE.
Talk slowly but think quickly.

THIRTEEN! ..
When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer
r, smile and ask, 'Why do you want to know?'

FOURTEEN.
Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

FIFTEEN.
Say 'bless you' when you hear someone sneeze

SIXTEEN.
When you lose, don't lose the lesson.

SEVENTEEN.
Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for
others; and Responsibility for all your actions.

EIGHTEEN.
Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps
to correct it.

TWENTY.
Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

TWENTY- ONE.
Spend some time alone.



A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.

Cyber Sex 2

Worth a try ?

Advice: Better in real life